Possessed

I fought a demon and won. A tiny but highly possessive demon is what masturbation is.

Before, I had wondered why people saw the need to celebrate their overcoming this spirit. I used to think it was just about stopping. I would lift my nose high and imagine, it’s not that hard, “get your fucking hands off yourself fucker.”

But it is hard.

Hard and deadly enough for you to want to fast and pray that it leaves you alone. Masturbation possesses your thoughts, holding you smell, sight and sound captive, forcing them along the dark corridors of insatiable lust.

For me it started as exploring. Exploring my body, after all it belonged to me. A touch here, a tug, here and a pull that felt nice. Suddenly it didn’t seem so enjoyable anymore yet I couldn’t stop.

The awareness that I had previously pleasured myself was too bliss to just leave at that, I started to explore erotica. Borrowing the vast available help that could be found in the hottest parts of the internet hole.

Erotica fires your imagination, showing you how much you can achieve with the power of thinking. Magical words, conjuring sultry pictures in your head. Naked bodies being manipulated into positions that are physically impossible.

Erotica takes off from your eyes, the scales that measure evil. There you are standing alone with yourself in the wilderness of sex. Everything is here, everything can be here, you just have to imagine it

‘Kim kardarshian’, ‘Beyonce’, ‘rihanna’, the fish seller down your street, the single neighbour and even your preachers wife. 

You fall into an endless state of doism. It’s a conundrum you can almost never get out of or solve.  Even when you do. You see the outside world with a tinted view. Dissecting and stripping away pieces of real life until every thing, every person becomes a subject, imprisoned by your unquenching lust. 

This hole in your heart can cause you to bore a hole in your mattress, you life becoming an endless circle of digging deeper. Still yet it doesn’t stop there. 

You’re gone bonkers getting Boners on the highway. It’s a freeway and your only destination is the prison yard if you don’t stop yourself.

Let’s imagine for a second that one day it takes you up on a frenzy, come on, you’ve been coming. About 10 times, you’re empty and exhausted this can only lead to hell

Think of a day where there’s too much pressure but your damned mind craves it’s release so badly, you’ll hunt and hurt another man, or woman or child.

Please don’t say it’s impossible, look how far you’ve come.

Brother man, you should cry for help. So loud that it probably may be heard outside of your deep pit. Take a deep breath and get ready to scream out. You’ve been on the road down for so long.

So don’t be shy to say hi if you see a shadow pass by. It could be you only chance at salvation. 

Back to my story, I wish I could paint the picture of how far I came in just two days. 

It was all haze, dark clouds and smoke screens as I metamorphosed into the old man. Overwhelmed completely by desire that logic had no place in my head.

It needed a deliverance and a deliverance I got. So don’t ever for one second think will power is what you’ll need.

Your body fails

Your mind fails

Sometimes your spirit even fails.

Hey loves, it’s been ages since I put pen to paper or thumbs to screen to write.

Life happens, but I can’t deny, ive missed being here.

Don’t forget to hit like and drop a comment.
Chukulee